S3E7 - NJoy & Cut Cocks

In this episode, Jess (The Playful Domme), Lisa (The Poly Wife), and Ella (The Virgin) discuss their experiences with the NJoy toy, a popular sex toy designed to stimulate the prostate and provide intense pleasure. Jess introduces the NJoy toy, explaining how it’s used for both men and women and its effectiveness in inducing strong orgasms. Ella shares her first experience with the toy and how it helped her achieve intense, unexpected pleasure. The conversation expands to include a discussion on circumcised vs. uncircumcised penises, how different men’s bodies respond to touch, and the importance of communication and exploration in sexual pleasure.

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🔥SHOW NOTES🔥

[00:00:00] - Introduction to the episode and a disclaimer for mature audiences.

[00:02:00] - Jess introduces the NJoy toy, describing its design and function in stimulating the prostate for both men and women.

[00:03:00] - Ella shares her first experience using the NJoy toy with her partner and how it led to multiple orgasms.

[00:04:00] - Discussion on the sensation of the toy, including its smoothness, weight, and the pressure it provides to different parts of the body.

[00:06:00] - Lisa shares her experiences with the NJoy toy and how it has enhanced her pleasure, particularly in the context of masturbation.

[00:08:00] - The trio discusses the differences between circumcised and uncircumcised penises, touching on how each requires different handling and techniques for pleasure.

[00:10:00] - Jess talks about how men can be guided to learn how to be touched differently, emphasizing the importance of asking about preferences.

[00:12:00] - Ella and Lisa reflect on how they’ve used their experiences with the toy to enhance intimacy and connection with their partners.

[00:14:00] - Jess talks about the impact of pleasure and orgasm on relationships, noting that women need more orgasms to improve overall health and well-being.

[00:16:00] - Closing thoughts on the importance of exploration, communication, and making time for pleasure and self-care.

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🔥RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED🔥

• The Playful Podcast Website: www.theplayfulpodcast.com – For after-hours content, workshops, and community access.

•  NJoy Toy: A stainless steel sex toy designed to provide prostate stimulation, mentioned as a favorite among men and women for its effectiveness and the pleasure it induces.

• OMGYes: A platform where women share how they masturbate, offering educational insights into women’s pleasure and different techniques for self-pleasure.

Transcript

Jess the Playful Domme: 0:12

Welcome to the playful Dom, the Poly Wife and the Virgin Podcast, where we share our most intimate stories, experiences, and details of our love lives, our intimacy lives, our play lives, and giving you the opportunity to gaze in and get a glimpse of what could be possible in your life as well. As we share our stories, our adventures, we weave in tips. tricks and techniques to help build your confidence, boost your courage and give you the opportunity to ask for what you want in your life. Welcome to the podcast. Hello, everyone. And welcome to the latest episode of the playful down the poly wife and the virgin podcast for us three ladies come together to share about all the adventures and explorations and juicy details and also the hilarious flub up moments and intimacy. Today, we're talking about a couple things. One, we're going to start off by talking about one of our kind of favorite sex toys. So, it's called the NJOY toy, so basically the word NJOY, you take the E out from the beginning, so N J O Y, and it's this, uh, curved, silver, or stainless steel bar with two balls, one on either end of it, um, of different sizes, and I remember years ago I was training with. a dominatrix in indiana and she said that it was her her clients her male client's favorite toy was the enjoy toys can go in and touch hit the prostate really good and then another one of my girlfriends also a dom It was her, her personal favorite toy and more and more as we've, as I've met women over the years, uh, especially in sex work and stuff like that, they continue to have it be their favorite toy. So I got one myself, um, years ago, um, with Josh, uh, when I was dating Josh. Um, and I remember the first time he put it inside of me and I started gushing and I was like, I don't even know what's happening. Like what's happening. Like it was just, it was like this almost involuntary physical response. It was happening. It was like all this juiciness and, and stuff like that. And, um, and it was really, really cool to play with. It ended up being pretty much the only way I could orgasm with him was with the enjoy. Toy and, um, and there's something about the pressure and the angle and the buildup, uh, it can lead to some really fantastic orgasms. So when I saw Ella and her partner, um, a few weeks ago, um, we were doing more of a kinky bent. It was kind of like, okay, what can we learn more on the kinky side now that, um, Jess has taught us how to do all these other cool things and I introduced the Enjoy Toy. So Ella, what was your, uh, what was your experience and has it? Well, I remember what you said during it, but I want to, we want to hear from you what it was like.

Ella the Virgin: 3:24

Uh, wow, is all I can say. And you said, you said it's your favorite toy. And you pulled this, you know, again, this piece of stainless steel out and I'm like, Hmm, are you sure about that? But I think it's, I'm not sure what it is. Whoever designed this was incredible. It's the weight. It's smooth. You can see there can be warm or cold. And, um, the thing is incredible. So once you get it in there and in the right angle and like, and you helped with this is that you don't have to move it. Okay. Just, if you just set it on your, I don't know what it's sitting on, the G spot or, I'm not sure. I have never felt that sensation before. It makes me, it is the most incredibly, um, intense, juicy, incredible thing that's ever happened. So, and again, you were with my partner and I, as we were trying it the first time. And I don't masturbate much, it's just not what I do. I, I prefer to be with a My partner, but yesterday in the middle of the day, I'm like, I want to pull that thing out again. And I sat there and again, I finally got the angle just right. It's kind of like a lift and kind of tilt it down. And oh my God, I squirted and I couldn't get enough. Right. And I've like, I've asked probably for like an hour. I'm like, what the heck? So it's as close to a real cock to me as, um, anything. And I choose to use the larger side. Um, and

Lisa the Poly Wife: 4:45

then you can use my question.

Ella the Virgin: 4:47

Yeah, that's what I that's what I've done. But this morning when we played with it this morning, he put the smaller side in there and he couldn't he's just got the angle just right. But what we were doing is I want his cock so bad. It's that intense for me. I remember when we were playing probably didn't say that because I'm trying to like. Whatever clinical anyway, and so he starts with that and gets me to this point and then again he's stroking his cock and he puts it in nice and hard and then he pulls it out before he comes and he enjoy goes in again and it's just this in heightened. It's like, it's amazing. Absolutely incredible. There is no other toy in my mind that is like this. Incredible. Incredible. But you don't need to move it. Like you said, your last partner, you were like trying to move it. It's not that. For me, it's just pressure. The right pressure.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 5:37

And that's really fascinating because I, I also just came from this weekend with Jess and we talked about it. And as a matter of fact, I don't I'm pretty wasn't it you that I sent my I had to have to because I didn't I had one and I couldn't find it. So I ordered a second one. Um, because I wanted to use it. And I think I sent my original one to Jess. So anyway, I literally have never used it. I've never used it on myself or anything, but I remember just saying that it made you squirt, I think, because she had just come from Seattle with you.

Ella the Virgin: 6:15

Yeah.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 6:16

And I was like, you know what? I have pet who wants me to soak some panties and when I masturbate, I don't, I don't squirt, right? So I thought, well, let me see if I can use that enjoy toy and make myself squirt. So I was rocking it back and forth and it hurt me. It, I didn't like it. And I was using the small end. So now I'm going to go back in and use the larger end and see if I could, I put. Because I don't, without a partner, I don't get all wet and juicy and, you know, yummy. So I use glue.

Ella the Virgin: 6:51

Oh, you will. Oh, you will. When you find that spot. And it's literally, it's like, you, when you put it in, it's like you, you. It's like, it's, it's down, you angle it down and then kind of up. It's like this up for me and down.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 7:04

So it's kind of behind your pubis bone.

Ella the Virgin: 7:07

Exactly. Yeah. And I can't score it unless I pull it out.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 7:12

Right. Okay.

Ella the Virgin: 7:13

So it's so intense that I, and you have to be careful pulling out. Cause got that, but pull it out. Oh my God. Oh my God. So I even told him he left this morning. I'm like, it's raining and it's, you see, I'm in my flannel and I'm like. You sure you don't want to come back and just stay in bed all day? That's how it gets you that perked up for me. And I think Jess can say the same thing, but it's incredible. And for me, I don't like all those vibrating things. I would like, I have a glass one that I, that we play with sometimes got a bunch of ribs on it. And I like that too. Yeah. Yeah. Cause Jess and I, we've learned, right. That it's, it's not, I mean, you could just the lightest touch and on the outside to go super hard and deep sometimes, but you get it anyway. So it's just, Oh my God. It's so good.

Jess the Playful Domme: 8:01

Oh my God. So when we were doing the, the session, um, Ella kept being like her, her partner, she would say her partner's name. She's like, we need this. This is a must. I need like, we need this today. Like now I need this, like, you know, kind of thing. And so, um, after the session, I was like, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna just leave this here for the rest of the night for you guys. You can play with it and whatever, obviously I don't need it until the morning. Um, But that night, yeah, you went online and found it and she ordered it and I don't know it's like like what like a hundred bucks or something like that.

Ella the Virgin: 8:36

Oh, the best hundred bucks ever. I'm telling you what, it's, it is unbelievable.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 8:42

I remember where we, when we bought it, we bought it when we were, we bought it in a little shop, uh, in Old Town, Sacramento. We found this great. Toy store, we bought all of these great things, but the enjoy was the one that was most highly recommended. And I think we'd owned it for like 10 years and never had used it. Oh, yeah, no, no, no.

Ella the Virgin: 9:03

Trust me, work with the angle. It's like. There is no, wow, wow, there's just no sensation.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 9:12

It would be fun for us to sit on our enjoys and do and record a podcast one day. Maybe we'll do that as an after dark episode. Yeah. Oh, okay. Wait, hold on. Oh, here it goes.

Jess the Playful Domme: 9:24

Yeah. Put the waterproof sheets down and

Ella the Virgin: 9:27

yeah, well, yeah,

Jess the Playful Domme: 9:29

wait, go.

Ella the Virgin: 9:30

And then we've done it, you know, cool cause you can keep it cool. Uh, which we learned because we, you know, we ended up sterilizing it. It was so hot. It holds the temperature and it gets up to a body temperature fairly quickly. So this morning it was cool and oh, it just felt so good. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to lock it up so I can't get to it. It's that good to me.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 9:52

That's awesome. We'll make sure to put a link in the, in the note in the show notes.

Jess the Playful Domme: 9:57

I, I honestly think that women orgasming more is a benefit for our society.=Like absolutely. For men. Um, you know, the, the Taoists, um, which was this, you know, these people and like, oh my gosh, I'm going to sound so illiterate, but, um, the Taoists, uh, were believers of longevity and they studied things thousands of years ago of how to create longevity. And they talked about semen retention, that semen retention, uh, would help, um, yeah, would help. build longevity and vitality and everything like that in men. And so it's almost like as men go older, the less times they really should have a release, um, which is why it's great to learn about the multi orgasmic man. So then you can have internal orgasms without like the physical release of your life force and of your seed. However, I feel that women is the opposite. We need women orgasming way, way, way, way, way, way, way more, more juicy, more turned on, more excited about life because that's, that's the magic really for women. And so many of us, it's very easy. Well, I mean, yeah, I would say for many of us, it's very easy to just not want it. To not try for it to not, I mean, I do like I'll go for months. I'm like, yeah, I haven't touched my side, but, but it's important to, and it's very important to our health, you know, as, as women and in our couples and for us to be able to open up and what turns us on and what we like, and why not have an exploration with ourselves? Why do we wait until the guy comes or You know, our partner comes to like, you know, try to figure it out when we can, you know, so

Ella the Virgin: 11:50

yeah, really.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 11:51

I think there's a lot, a lot of, a lot of truth there. And I can say that I am probably in a situation now where I'm the most stressed I've ever been in my life. And I'm the happiest I've ever been. Right. I'm like, okay, this is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. And by wrong, I'm, you know, saying, you know, this isn't in the ideal situation. This isn't the ideal situation and this isn't the ideal situation, but I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I think it's definitely because I'm having a lot of orgasms. I've had more orgasms. Well, now that I'm working with Jess and we're doing our master classes, um, yeah, I'm having, I've had more orgasms this year than I probably have had. Yeah. Then I probably would have had in the last three years, five years, maybe even absolutely. And I'm not having more sex. I'm actually having less sex, but I am masturbating more. And I know. And I have multiple orgasms now, which I never was able to have before, which I never knew I was capable of having before I probably could have had them. But yeah, so it's been this has been the best ride because it's been so opening. Sure. And still very, um, educational at the same, it just, I, I, I've become evangelical about sex at this point. It's like, I want all of my friends who are my age and have been married for a really long time, or not even my age, even younger, 20 married 15 years or longer. I want all of them to be having a lot of sex.

Ella the Virgin: 13:33

Absolutely.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 13:33

I just feel, I don't know. I haven't. It'd be interesting. I'm sure the studies are there. I just haven't found them or looked what the, at what year sex really tends to decline, right? Certainly with kids involved. I don't have the excuse of kids. Kids never got involved with us. Church got involved, band practice got involved, businesses got involved. I mean, we had our projects, but you're right. We don't take, women can, can go a long time without an orgasm.

Ella the Virgin: 14:10

Yeah, for sure. I was one of those.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 14:12

Yeah, I was too. I went years.

Ella the Virgin: 14:15

And even if I didn't have a partner, this enjoy toy is so good. Like I said, it's the closest thing to a cock that.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 14:21

Yeah.

Ella the Virgin: 14:22

Um, yeah, I'm good. It's really great.

Jess the Playful Domme: 14:27

Well, you, you've got a lot of time

Lisa the Poly Wife: 14:29

too.

Ella the Virgin: 14:30

I have what?

Jess the Playful Domme: 14:32

We've got some alone time this week. So geez, te test it out. Test it out. See how good it is. You know, it's really interesting and I'm gonna go off road for a second. Um, so on my, uh, personal Facebook page, I've been doing this challenge called Playing with Intimacy, and each day has been about sharing a tip and it's, it's. A multi layered exercise one for me to, you know, share different tips of things that I I've learned over my years to, you know, help couples, but also to get more comfortable coming out and speaking more publicly about the work that I've done and things like that. And it's kind of a hearkening to, um, a series I did three years ago. So three years ago, um, this was in the height of COVID and BLM, right? And I was like, you know what, I'm going to go into my caves because I was very much into my priestess at that time. And I was like, I'm going to go into my priestess cave and I'm just going to study and I'm going to be there. And I got this like, you know, divine instruction that was like, nope, you are going to create a 30 day series about love. And I was like, what? And I just, I remember the time being like. I'm some white woman that, like, like, I felt like I was going to commit social suicide, like, I'm going to be this white woman coming onto Facebook talking about love while there's, you know, the Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter stuff happening all over the country. And it was terrifying for me. Um, you know, and it took a lot of courage, but I was obedient and I was like, I will do it because it's coming from someplace. Other than me because it's literally the last thing I want to do and so I went ahead and did it and it was very Important because I wasn't doing it for myself. I was doing it because I was called to do it And many many people thanked me for the series, which was so ironic Like it was like completely flipped for me like they people were very grateful and I had also gotten much more comfortable where by the end of it I Said that I'm a dominatrix and a shaman and, you know, all these things that I thought would really push a lot of people away. And it's almost like, because I had warmed up the audience, I guess. So anyways, fast forward to now, and I'm doing this playing with intimacy challenge. And yesterday I wrote about fast tracking the, Oh, um, for ladies. And so the, and I've talked about it here on the podcast, uh, for me. If you open up your mouth and make the shape of an O and you breathe in and out of your mouth so it's not through your nose but in and out of your mouth, it helps unlock and open our womb. And so I've been able to have an orgasm so much faster. Then if I have my mouth shut and clenched because it contracts in the in the womb, so I'm talking about this and There's some really crazy shit that's happening right now on our planet like really bad things that are happening in other countries and horrific stuff Right, and so one of my girlfriends Commented and she was basically like I have a hard time Justifying masturbating when there's all these horrific things that are going on and there's murders happening and you know all the stuff and like I Don't understand how this is important. And, you know, I could really use some help understanding. And, and I, it was such an important question. And I'm going to read it to you. I'm going to read the response because the

Ella the Virgin: 18:06

response was, was beautiful.

Jess the Playful Domme: 18:09

The other was a part. So back to this, like, being brave, you know, when I read her comment, my first reaction was like, Oh, I'll just DM her.

Ella the Virgin: 18:18

Yeah.

Jess the Playful Domme: 18:19

And, or I'll, I'll do a, I'll do a post in my private group, the posse, you know, I'll just talk about it there. I'll address it. And then I was like, No, I'm going to write it here. So she wrote, Given that we are starseeds, lightworkers, etc., just wondering how you deal with the energy of what's happening to toddlers, babies, women, and elderly in this, um, other country in the Middle East while we're being encouraged to reach new heights of orgasm with our partners. Call me selfish, but it's difficult to pleasure oneself when there are actively thousands of children and women being tortured, raped, and killed in the same realm as my energy across the world. Any thoughts or direction on this? Because I could use some love. Or because I could use some. And so I wrote, thank you so much for posting this. I really appreciate you sharing. It is something that has weighed heavily on me as well. And I remember three years ago when I got in the divine instruction to create a series about love. This is when the BLM riots were happening. And I remember thinking it was like I was committing social suicide to be a white woman posting about love and the height of all of this pain that's happening in our country. It took courage, but I did it. And many, many people thank me for bringing in love during such a dark time. It ultimately comes down to what is in our control. We cannot control what is going on anywhere else in the world. And there are atrocities happening every single day, whether they are posted online or not horrific things. Those should never happen to anybody in our oftentimes happening in our own communities or in our own home. Add to it, the terrible violence and crimes are happening around the world. And it can be enough to take anyone out. Especially late workers. I believe in all my heart that each of us have a role to play on this planet. There are those who are going to fight those who are going to pray. Those are going to advocate. Those are who are going to volunteer. Those who are going to develop help with developing new policies, et cetera. For me, and I can tell you that I've been to the depths of despair and darkness over these last few years, I know that my part on this planet is to help people get into a state of joy. When we are in a state of anger, fear, confusion, despair, anxiety, we cannot, and I repeat, cannot, hear or connect with our higher self or with divine guidance. In other words, we can't hear or connect to God. And it has been my belief and understanding that when we are able to get into a state of love, Peace, joy, we can connect. So it comes down to what can each and every one of us do. You have seen me weep on my videos. You know, how deeply I feel the pain that others go through. And I know that me adding on more fuel to the fire doesn't change things. So that is why I'm posting about this and encouraging people to step into deeper intimacy with their partners, because there is a spiritual war going on and there is a war on marriage, on families, on women, and on men, getting back to what unites us. What we share in common is love and intimacy. I pray and donate and support the people that I know who are touched by the events that are happening, whether that be in Hawaii or Israel. And I will do what I can to help people get into joy. It is in the state of joy that we connect to our higher selves, connect to the divine. God works through us and we become miracle workers is probably one of the most often. Often made videos. I make repeatedly online. Do what lights you up. Also, masturbation is often dissociating and disconnected. It's just getting a release. Self pleasuring and intimacy with self or partner is meant to be totally different. It's meant to build the connection and actually experience what God wants, which is union and connecting to that source through the most sacred act. There's so much more that I can say, and I'm here for you. I love you. So why I'm saying this is because she's not the only one thinking that. And I know that I've thought this too, like why, why talk about joy or why say talk about intimacy? Why do these things when all these horrible, awful things are happening? And when it's so thrown in our face about it, and there's a part of me that's like, and if that's the case, then why go to work? Why get out of bed? Why put on makeup? Why eat something good? Why go on a date? Okay. If it's such atrocities are unbearable for you. Why not give your house away to homeless people? You know, so it's not to like make things good or bad, right? People just are going to do whatever they're going to do, but sex continues to be the easy target and to be vilified and stigmatized as much as possible. Let's take sex off the table. It's like nothing in this world would exist without sexuality. The common denominator amongst All races of humans and all animal kingdoms, with the exception of seahorses and a few token others, you need sex for life. I'm talking about plants. Trees, everything that we see around us is because of sex, everything that's in creation is because of sex. And so that getting to what really matters and the hatred and the despair is so easy to drag people down and not make them want to do it. It's the last thing I want to do. Why? I want to, I don't want to feel good, all the things, but if we can decide that we have choice and we have power and the more that there's happiness in our homes. The more love that there is in our homes, the more connection that there is in our homes, the more healing that happens in our homes, the more impact you're going to have on the world. I promise you then, then freaking out about something that's happening thousands and thousands of miles away that you have absolutely no. Control over and you can't do anything about. So I was like, what can I do with what I have right here? Right now I can fix myself. I can heal the stuff going on in my own body. I can develop a deeper relationship with my partner. I can do the hard work and be like, you know what? Maybe this relationship isn't the right thing. And let's set each other fucking free instead of sticking around for another 10, 15 years of. Bullshit, you know, like doing these things that we can do in our own home. It's like the temple starts at home. Get back into home. Stop looking around about everything else that's going on everywhere else because you have no control over it, but you do have control right here in your own home. So that's my soapbox off roading moment.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 24:36

Well, I'm on that soapbox too, because that's. Yeah, I always, I always say is like, I can't control the outside world. I can only control my community, right? So if I can give to my community and make my community's lives easier or better or uplifted or inspired, then I, I'm doing what I can to support my world. Which happens to be a small world, but if everybody took into consideration the people in their world, neighbors, etc., even strangers, people you just run into, it's the, it is the only thing we have control over. So if all I can do is smile and make somebody's day better by complimenting them or saying hello, then that's a positive effect I can have. And what's. feeding that joy for me is the sex that I'm having, the masturbating that I'm doing.

Ella the Virgin: 25:33

Or the intimacy, the intimacy that these, again, like this, enjoy it perfectly named, you know, bring that into your relationship and work together with it. It's, it's pretty powerful. It's amazing. So

Jess the Playful Domme: 25:44

I stand for joy, you know, and I think we need more people who stand for joy and we each have a role to play, like I said, and I stand by that, but you know, I can send. 200 to some cause that's happening in Hawaii or whatever. And, and instead I chose to send money to one of my friends who's directly on the ground, helping his community in Hawaii. And I was like, who's helping the helpers, you know, they've walked away from their jobs. They've like stepped away to like be hands on deck to help people in Hawaii. And, you know, so that felt good for me to support that. So we find the ways that, that feel good and. And let's stay on the train of let's get more women waking up, let's get more women in their pleasure and, um, and get them more in their bodies instead of being dissociated, you know, so. Completely agree. Love it. Um, so cutting back on track. So we were going to talk about from the very beginning, we were going to talk about the. Uncircumcised, also known as the uncuts and talk about the, those kinds of cocks and how do you touch and play and feel them because for many of us, at least for me, the first time I saw an uncircumcised cock, I was, uh, 23 and I didn't know what the heck to do with it. And I was freaking out. And I remember calling one of my best girlfriends, uh, and I was like, Oh my God, this guy, I'm seeing he's not circumcised and I don't know what to do. And, um, and I needed to get some, some tips and suggestions with that. Have either of you experienced the uncircumcised cocks before we go?

Ella the Virgin: 27:31

I have. Yeah, I was, um, my former husband was uncircumcised. So yeah, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 27:39

I don't, I think my father was uncircumcised, so that may have been my first exposure to an uncut man. Um, I think I've only had sex with two uncircumcised men, and I'm Fairly certain I was in a relationship. Okay, so the professor was uncircumcised. My doctor of philosophy, he was uncircumcised, now that I think about it. And I think just recently I came across an uncircumcised guy. Um, but I think it's freaking fantastic. I actually really enjoy it. I wasn't, I at first was intimidated. Oh, I know who it was. Yes, it was my fan with benefits. He's, he's uncut. And I really, really, really enjoyed playing with him and it made it easier for me to play with him too. As a matter of fact, like stroking him was easier. He's like, it's perfect. It's like already lubricated. It's so easy. So yeah, I had actually a lot of fun with him. I learned a lot because I was, I'm now at the point where I am more all about exploring and. Testing and poking and prodding and seeing what feels good. And instead of just saying, okay, well put it in my mouth real quick, put it in my pussy real quick, and then we're done. So now that I'm taking my time with it, it's really fascinating to play. With all different kinds of cos I'm really enjoying the differences and what different men like, although there are similar, similar similarities. Some guys like their balls being played with, some guys don't. But, um, yeah, it's been fun. What, what's been your experience? Jess.

Jess the Playful Domme: 29:38

Yeah. So in my central body work, I've seen many, many uncircumcised cocks, which has been really cool. And, and I'm recognizing that it's not one size fits all. It's not one approach fits all, um, especially with the uncircumcised guys, because there's some where their whole sleeve like actually like covers all the way up over their head. So it's like, there's like this little tiny opening. One of my clients, he doesn't want to pull down at all. He's so, so, so sensitive that the entire, um, sequence, the whole lingam massage, cock massage, doesn't have it being revealed at all. And so he actually has his orgasm that way, which was super fascinating. And so it's. It's very, very kind of tricky because each guy is different. So some of them, I would say most uncircumcised guys, their head is incredibly sensitive, like 10 times more sensitive than an uncircumcised guy because. It's shielded, it's sheathed, so it's not getting the daily friction that an exposed head has. And so, when it does get exposed, um, even like a lighter touch, it can be almost too much. So, and then there's some guys who, they're, I wouldn't say desensitized, they're just, they're Fine. Yeah, just go ahead, play, just pull the skin down. Some of them it, you, you wait for the skin to like, um, actually contract naturally. Mm-hmm And then the head, uh, emerges on its own without you pulling down the, um, the, for skin I'm like, what's the word? Uh, the foreskin. Uh, and then, you know, also it, it's. Um, you know, again, some people, they, they like the stroking of the cock with the, with the foreskin still, you know, pretty much on it. And then there's others where, you know, just completely, yeah, just kind of, it just shifts and it's easy and it's like just this totally exposed penis and it's totally fine. So, so some tips, what can I offer? The listeners, when you experience an uncircumcised cock, don't freak out, especially if it's your first time, um, it's easy to do. Some of these cocks tend to be, uh, have more lubricant because they have the sheath. So it can feel, in some ways, Slimey. It just can. It just is the way it is. I don't know how else to say it. It's not intentional. The guy's obviously not trying to be that. That's just the way that his body's functioning is. Not all cocks are like that. Some of them aren't. Some of them are just more wet. Some of them need oil still, you know, whatever it is. Every, every guy is different. Um, so when you encounter one, I would, you know, say like, Oh my gosh, this is so cool. Like I've. I'm so excited to get to play with you, man. So right out of the gate, because many guys who are uncircumcised, at least in the US, they can have kind of a trip out about their, their cock and insecurity. So for you to set off with a compliment or an excitement piece will help put them more at ease. Now, again, you don't have to put your mouth on his cock, which is a whole reason why I teach you. One of the whole reasons why I teach women about lingam massage is so that you don't have to give up your mouth or your pussy. You can just use your hands as you have this experience. Um, another thing is to ask him, like, you know, you can say like, you know, I've heard that, um, each guy has a different way of like, of how they like to be touched when they're uncircumcised and circumcised by the way. It doesn't matter. Every guy has a certain way they like to be touched, but the uncircumcised guys just tend to be more sensitive, like I said. So you can just say, like, do you like to have your skin pulled down? Do you, would you rather have it up until you get more aroused? Um, how sensitive is your head? Is that something where, you know, you just ask these diagnostic questions, which are fantastic because then he does also doesn't have to be, uh, you know, so it's, it's funny what I'm about to say, Lise. You know how we talk about the law of women just have to lay there and take it, you know, when guys are giving them pleasure. But I think the same thing is for women, for men too, is that like, um, or whoever, when, when a man is having to receive, he's also kind of at the mercy or the whims of the woman, like you're, um, very rarely are they able to, I don't know, in my experience, And I've done this a lot. Um, there's only been a few men that have like corrected me because I'm going to touch them in ways that I've never before, you know, so they're, they're in that state of knowing that, um, But if I'm getting toward the end of my time with them and they haven't had an orgasm yet, I'll be like, Hey, is there a certain way that you like to be touched that helps you, um, climax or whatever it is. And then if like that doesn't work, then I like the very last few minutes I'll say like, Hey, can you take over and, and finish and, you know, and they have a very different way of going about it. Um, so, but. What do you think, Lise?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 35:18

I think that approach is fantastic. And I also, in, when I'm working, I ask them what it is that they, what they like and how they like to be touched. But I also, have come to learn that even if I'm not, if they aren't coming to a head, if they are not coming to an orgasm, it doesn't mean that the touch that I'm providing isn't enjoyable, right? I would get into my head saying, Oh, well, it's not producing it. You know, we're not getting to the goal. We're not getting to the goal. This is with lovers or clients or whatever. And what I realize is. Um, I, as a matter of fact, I went to a, uh, nude, um, resort this past weekend. And I randomly played with somebody, um, that I met that day. And all I, all we did was manual touch and we had so much fun. And Honestly, I because we were in a hot tub at first and I don't even know if he was circumcised or not because he was erect the entire time and that was one thing I wanted to say is that sometimes an erect penis will the foreskin will completely disappear so you, you may have, you may be in a swinging situation, you could be with somebody who has their foreskin and not know it because their head is beyond it. Um, but I decided to give him a little bit of a massage and, um, I had so much fun and for two hours, we just kept, I kept edging him and he kept getting me to orgasm because it was easy, but he, he loved learning on me that it was a super light touch so that all of all of the asking is so empowering for the person being asked. And men and women is what I'm finding when a man hears. How do you like to be touched? Holy crap. I don't think women tend to do that. I think we assume that it's poor. I have assumed in the past. Let me not speak for all women. I have assumed in the past that the way a man likes to be touched is the way porn portrays. men being touched. And it wasn't until I started here that I, I have now, I am part of a number of groups of women. And part of the things that I always say is when you're giving a handjob, or if you're giving a blowjob, stop making it look like intercourse, right? We have Well, four, but let's pretend we have three holes, three ways that we can stimulate a cock with our hands and mouth and genitals. Why do we want to have the hand simulate what it is that a vagina can do? Why not have the hand do something completely different and, and the mouth as well. And um, I've gotten good feedback about that and I feel like even guys are surprised because I imagine that you get that feedback as well is because nobody touches a man's cock the way you do not because you're a unique person, but because you have taught me and you teach. I mean, uh, touch in a completely different way altogether. Don't you agree? Do you get that feedback?

Jess the Playful Domme: 38:58

Yeah, all the time, all the time that men have never been, um, touched the way that, that they're being touched in the experience. And. That they've also not touched themselves in that way before. And so that's part of why I think it's so empowering. And it's so cool when, when women use our, when we use our hands, um, on a man's cock, because we're able to set up an experience for them that they haven't had before. And, and most, most people, right. They're not going to edge themselves naturally. Most people, not all, but most people, they start feeling the intensity. Of the buildup and they just want to have the orgasm. They just want to have the release. They, they, it's almost like too much for them to hold. So when it's not in their hands and it's in someone else's and she gets to edge and play and prolong and tease and the same thing can be happening like other way, like. Women can receive that to being edged and being played with and, you know, building that, that whole thing up, you know, um, it just makes it so much more fun. It just, it makes it so much more fun to see people being, um, To see them like grabbing the, the size of the sheets and the bed or the massage table, or, you know, maybe putting one hand on my, like yesterday, one guy, um, one of my clients, he said, you know, just so you know, I'm, I'm really loud. And I like, when I orgasm, I'm really loud. And it's like, it's a hard orgasm. I'm like, cool, bring it be as loud as you want. That's great. No problem. And so it reached a point where he had one hand Gripping my hips and the other gripping the table. And he's just like, ah, you know, like this whole thing. And I was like, this may be one of the best orgasms I've ever seen. Like, you know, I've seen a lot of them. This is definitely a good one. Um, and kudos to him, but for him, he was surprised about like how hard he was. Like he wasn't accustomed to being that hard. And, um, he, it was his first time seeing me. Or seeing somebody really doing this work, uh, sounded like maybe he's gone to someplace like a, an Asian massage parlor or something like that. Um, and he's like, because I asked if you had any, have you had a full bicentral massage before and he's like, not like what I think you're do like not what. Not like what I think you offer and I'm like, okay, and so, and he said, you know, it's been a really long time, like he's going through a divorce, you know, like all this stuff. And so it's really great to, I mean, he was just so happy, you know, so happy to have that kind of. Connection and, you know, all of it. And, um, afterwards I was massaging his shoulders for a few minutes. I was leaning up against him and he was like, oh, it really feels really good just to feel your, your body prep. You know? Um, we need more touch.

Ella the Virgin: 41:53

Yeah. We need more touch. Need more touch. Yeah.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 41:55

Even more so after, um, COVID. So people are touch deprived and may not even realize it.

Ella the Virgin: 42:03

So I think just for you, so when, you know, when you've done a wound massage with me, I think that's the beautiful thing that one of the, besides the massage itself, the wound massage, I think it's the massage on the back at the beginning. And then you usually like, well, um, like spread your arms and then lay your body on my back. And it is the most nurturing, caring, um, gentle, strong, most beautiful experience ever. And so I, I'm assuming that we all feel that we just don't slow down to, to just give that it's just so beautiful. So that's what he was feeling, you know.

Jess the Playful Domme: 42:45

Yeah. So what I was saying is one of my components that I incorporate in my massages is when someone's laying face down and I'm massaging them, there reaches a point where I will just place my body on top of them. And so it becomes like this weighted human blanket. Um, and I. It's just something that I felt kind of, um, inspired to do, especially with everything that was going on. I mean, I learned, I, I got into this work during COVID, you know, so when people were really touch deprived or feeling very isolated, or, you know, kind of like neglected for all the reasons right and to lay down with them and it's, um, I see it as co regulating. So it helps, uh, calm people's nervous systems down. It helps them get into almost like a unified breath and heartbeat together. It's the same thing as putting, um, a baby on, on her mother's, like their mother's bare skin, you know, to help them kind of like calm down and stuff when they're feeling things. So, um, I, I know that my, uh, approach is very different with the work that I do because it is sensual and it is involving sexual genitals, but it's also meant to be very nurturing. And so that is something that I think I know, I know how much men want nurturing. And it's very challenging about how to be nurturing without being like a mother. How to be nurturing without being critical or nagging, you know, the, you know, just not stepping into the mother role, which can happen very easily. And I've, I've done it so many times. I can't even tell you how many relationships I've been in. So to like, kind of like take the step back and be nurturing, but as a woman and as a partner and as an equal and not into a power dynamic of. Parent child, which really disrupts the sexual energy and I, in my opinion, that the health of the relationship

Ella the Virgin: 44:49

beautifully said.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 44:50

Yep, absolutely.

Jess the Playful Domme: 44:54

All right. So what was your favorite thing about this episode today, Lisa?

Lisa the Poly Wife: 45:02

Um, well, definitely, I have been, I have been hesitant to bring this up, actually. Because it's such a crazy idea and it's so outside of the norm. But I really feel like we should talk about masturbation in our next one because I don't masturbate. I am in a masturbation or I was I for 30 years in a masturbation rut. I masturbate exactly the same way. And it's And I am, so I, I really, what I got out of it was learning from Ella, how it is that she masturbates with the enjoy because I'm like, Oh, okay. I didn't enjoy it. And I'm kind of thinking maybe I won't use it again, but now you've given me an idea of how to use it differently. And I, I, I think it's, it's. It sounds creepy, but it would be really fascinating in an educational way to see how women masturbate for sure. Yeah, I didn't know this either. Yeah, yeah. And there's a there's a there's software. There's a program subscription that you can go to called OMG. Yes. And women describe how it is that they masturbate and then it's crazy, crazy AI, but they have a picture of their vulva and you, you can touch the screen and the, the lips move in a certain way and you get a reaction. Based on how it is that she is anyway, the AI is technology is fantastic and I had a subscription to it like five or six years ago, maybe even longer than that. And I'd completely forgotten about it until my meta Amy asked me about it because she wanted to teach her boyfriend how to touch her and it sort of made me think, Oh, you know what, we don't, we don't talk about it. But that was definitely my favorite part was hearing what your experience was so I could learn something about how to maybe shift up how I do things with myself.

Ella the Virgin: 47:12

So, and it wasn't until just mentioned it because you know she talked about before going in and out and she's like no it's really just a pressure and it's a downward pressure and it's like she's right and again I it's difficult for me to get it, but my partner can get it and now I'm going to get it until you're going to

Lisa the Poly Wife: 47:29

try until you do.

Ella the Virgin: 47:31

Oh God, because it's just, it's, um, it's

Lisa the Poly Wife: 47:34

addicting. Well, yeah, and I, I really enjoy, I do enjoy masturbating on camera. So I do masturbate for my partners on video. A lot of women don't, which is something that I'm, was learning this week. And, um, uh, So now I'm going to try it and I will use that because I do want to squirt on video for my partners and fans. So what was your favorite part?

Ella the Virgin: 48:07

Uh, me? Well, I had an interesting thing. That's why I was quiet for a few minutes. I, I have a water software or water guy coming here and they were supposed to be here at 10. So I had a, uh, technician come in. I'm like, you want to go look in the closet? And I'm like, oh, by the way. We have a little podcast here. We're talking about, oh, sexual massage. And he's like, what? I said, yeah, like, you know, stroking cocks. So that was, uh, that was it. So I can hardly wait to re listen to it. So I can hear about the uncircumcised. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. It was like a really, I'm like, Oh my God, how am I going to get this guy to come through here? Cause you know, it's kind of loud. So I just told him it feels good.

Lisa the Poly Wife: 48:45

Good for you. That's awesome.

Ella the Virgin: 48:47

That's a great topic. I'm like, yeah, sure.

Jess the Playful Domme: 48:50

Sure is. It's so enlightening in so many ways. Um, how about you Jess? Yeah. I mean, we've, we've talked about so many things, uh, you know, getting, getting into pleasure. I, you know, and, and it can be unconscious, right? Like You know, it's easy to dissociate and it, and for all the reasons that we've talked about before, like from our own upbringing and porn and like, you know, all this stuff. And it's, it's very, very easy to, um, uh, villainize pleasure and, um, and shy away from it. And, you know, all of the things and, um, and also it's such a, it's such a necessity. It's such a basic need and desire. I mean, our bodies were created to feel pleasure and arousal and, and I just, I, I really believe it that the more that we can be in joy, the more that we can do the things with the people right here in front of us. Like how can I make an impact right here right now with who's sitting here in front of me or who's listening to our podcast? You know, it's like, it's almost all the strongest gift that we can do is by sharing love and sharing joy and sharing our laughs and all of these things. You know, I think about. You know, during, uh, you know, other wars have happened in the past, it's like, it's been the comedy that's pulled people through, you know, it's like, why, why should we be laughing right now when all this atrocity, because it's like, we need something to live for.

Ella the Virgin: 50:25

Yeah, that's right.

Jess the Playful Domme: 50:26

We need something to live for. And so to, to. Share our adventures to stick to this. It's not to say we negate or ignore or anything about what's going on. All of it's happening and having that awareness. And so being like, and I still choose to bring love and light into this world. And I still choose to experience pleasure. And I still choose to have orgasms and help others in my life have it. Because when we can do it from a connected place, from a playful place, from an exploration place, a curiosity place, when we can do it from these places is for the good. So I guess that's my takeaway. Um, so anyways, thank you all listeners for tuning in with us. Uh, stick around for our next episode to come. Thanks for listening. Bye for now. Want more? Head over to the playfulpodcast. com for all the juicy things we have to offer. From there you can join our community where you can get access to after hours, attend upcoming workshops and events, and even book a session. Bye for now.